For Jordan.....

I got a message on Friday from a fellow photographer that a family was in need of a photo shoot for the project I am part of The Gold Hope Project. I was excited for the opportunity on one hand, on the other my heart upset a little at the thought of another child with this dreaded disease. I spoke with his cousin on Friday, you see Jordan is 4 and has been battling leukemia most of his little life. He was supposed to get a bone marrow transplant but his mother was told last month that his marrow is 100 percent infected with his cancer. As an RN I know that means no transplant and that means not much time. We spoke quickly as I could feel the urgency in her message, I reached out to Jordan's mom and we had moved forward with plans to do his session this week.

As a mom, as a nurse, as someone deeply affected by others suffering I have never been able to wrap my head around the suffering people must go through in life, as part of life. A broken arm, bad eyesight, those are things easily corrected but the diseases now that truly take away everything about living and life, including the ultimate price life itself, I can't understand. I don't want to understand a world where children are cold, hungry, harmed, and ill. As a nurse I try to better the people I am around so that I at least feel like I am combating some of that ugliness. As a mom, grandma I do the best with what I have to give back so that they don't do without in hard times. As a photographer I try my best to deliver my best at that moment, to capture those times that are so fleeting but so momentous to a parent, a loved one.

Our photography community just went through a harsh loss with Jen Burgess Thompson, those of us who didn't know her personally either followed her work already or began following her journey with Cancer. She has two small boys who are now left without having what others have seen by this video, an incredibly amazing, fighting woman. The world needs more people like Jen, not less, the world has lost a true treasure. 

I went for a drive today for a project I am working on and the leaves are changing from shades of green to yellows and reds. The sun kissed my face as I drove around the lake, the wind blew my hair and I felt a sense of freedom. One of the pictures I took today is here, this flower that was still fighting to stay in bloom. Much like these kids and patients who fight this awful disease, fighting to keep the colors of their lives blooming and swaying. I stood for awhile at the lake thinking of things in my own life, nothing like cancer, just things I wish I had ways to change to turn and make better for the ones around me. I thought about Jordan as I was standing there next to a playground at the lake. A place I had been as a child so many times, a place I took my own children to learn to swim in the summers, to camp and roast marshmallows. Jordan was in a hospital fighting for his life, it's so unfair and so incredibly sad. 

I came back to upload my images from the day and upon opening Facebook I was left this hallowing message from his cousin.... 

Alisha, I first want to say, thank you for trying to make this a special occasion for Jordan. 

I appreciate all you do for children with cancer. I don't have many words right now, but 

Jordan lost his battle with cancer this morning.

My heart broke, it is still breaking for Jordan, for his mom, his family. The things in life he will never get to experience, times at the lake roasting marshmallows with his family by the fire, snuggled up in bed with his mom reading bedtime stories and chasing away the boogie man in the closet. He will never have a prom, rent a tux with his dad, learn to shave. He won't have a first kiss from that pretty little girl in class he always had a crush on. He won't get to graduate high school or go to college. He will never stand at the end of a church aisle waiting on his lovely bride or groom to be, waiting to start their forever. He won't get to watch his own child come into this world and share all those hopes and dreams his own parents had for him and saw him fulfill. His forever is no more.

If you read this, if this reaches you somehow and you can do something, anything for these kids, these families, do.  If you sew, make some animals for them to snuggle with. If you paint, go to your local hospital and paint with the kids. If you bake, take a family a warm meal, let them know that someone is thinking outside of themselves. If you are a photographer, join a Project like The Gold Hope Project and leave these families with something tangible for them to hold on to on the days and nights when their forever is gone.

If there was ever a reason to do something....anything...it's Jordan. I may not have got to know you, Jordan, but you've made an indention on my heart, on my soul. From the depths of my soul I am SO incredibly sorry for your suffering and that you won't get your forever. 

Here is Jordan.....  TEAM JORDAN


until we click again
~Alisha